The Key to Quality Relationships

By Sabrina Roblin

Due to the hours and stress of a demanding and successful career, the relationships in our lives can suffer. We’re often worn out by the end of the day and don’t have the energy to invest the time and attention that’s needed to keep our relationships thriving.

That takes a toll on our hearts and the hearts of those we love.

Life Reinspired dedicated a September blog to the research that discovered quality relationships are the top factor in determining longevity – more than quitting smoking and eating a healthy diet! Now the good news…one of the things that opens up when it’s time to leave that demanding career and launch our next chapter, is the time to create the quality relationships that make a difference to our well-being, joy, fulfillment and longevity.

So, what’s the key to deepening our relationship with our partner, children and friends? It’s not just about the time we spend or what we do with them, it’s about the quality of our presence when we’re with them. What does this mean? We can find an answer from Maya Angelou who suggests that there are four questions we are asking unconsciously all the time. They are:

1. Do you see me?
2. Do you care that I’m here?
3. Am I enough for you, or do you need me to be better in some way?
4. Can I tell that I’m special to you by the way that you look at me?

If we’re thinking about that problem at work, checking our cell phone, and are basically checked out, the answer to those four questions from the person we’re with is going to be no. And the more times the person we’re with answers no to those questions above, the greater the distance is going to grow between us, which can eventually lead to breakdown and/or loss of the relationship.

What does it take to get the person you’re with to answer yes to these questions? Just take a deep breath, slow down enough to look the person in the eyes and truly listen to their thoughts and feelings. That’s it. That is quality presence and it’s always felt. You don’t even have to wait until you leave that demanding career to start practicing it. You can start now. In the space of one breath, you can shift the quality of your relationships. And when you do leave that demanding career, make sure you prioritize quality time with the people you love. It’s the best investment you can make in the fulfillment and longevity of your life.

Join our Life Reinspired workshops where we’ll help you unlock the map for the next chapter of your life!

Sabrina Roblin is Co-Founder of Life Reinspired, a reset lab for successful Baby Boomers contemplating a meaningful next chapter in life. Sabrina is an experienced executive, mentor, trainer, and coach. She has worked for organizations that include Wells Fargo Bank, Broderbund Software, and The Coaches Training Institute.

Main Image credit: Charlie Foster